I see a lot of people talking about how to manage successful content marketing campaigns, or tips to improve or best tools for success. But not everyone can be on top. Some people are perfectly content to live life at the bottom.
With that in mind, I’ve assembled seven sure-fire ways to make sure you never get ahead. These are easy tips that anyone can do to make sure they minimize their efforts and fail miserably.
1. Talk About Yourself
Let’s face it, you’re in this for you, am I right? Why bother trying to come up with topics that are of interest for the reader when there’s so much fascinating information out there that’s of interest to you. When you write, make sure to stress all of your good attributes and why your readers would be crazy to consider anybody else. While you’re at it, bash the competition. After all, your main goal is to close the sale or move on to the next set of eyeballs.
Speaking of sales, don’t forget your ABCs: Always Be Closing. Every interaction is an opportunity for a sale, so make sure you always ask the user to purchase. This should be the main point of every piece of content you write.
2. Post Sporadically
Coming up with content is hard. You’ve got better things to do than sit around all day writing, you’ve got a business to run. Just having a blog is good enough. Once you’ve got five or six posts going, there’s plenty of content for your readers. Throw them a bone every once in a while by posting a new article and you’re golden.
If you make sure your content is not timely or related to current events, then it will never go stale. When a reader stumbles across your content, they will never know if it was written yesterday or 10 years ago. Score!
3. Be Unresponsive
Seriously? Somebody had the nerve to ask a question, or even worse, complain in the comments? This is your blog, not theirs. The best way to discourage this kind of behavior is just to ignore them until they go away. Your goal here is to make this run on autopilot with as little interaction as possible.
If this doesn’t work, you might consider attacking these people to let other readers know that their issues are their fault and not yours. Or even better, just delete the comments you don’t like.
4. Don’t Track Results
Since you don’t plan on creating a lot of content anyway, why bother tracking? What difference does it make which articles people like, react to or share? We’ve already determined that this is all about you, so feel free to ignore the results.
At the end of the day, your product is superior, and if people want to learn more about you, then they should seek you out. If you build it, they will come.
5. Talk Down to Your Readers
The best way to show your superiority is to talk down to your readers. Superior products equals superior sales, right? Go ahead and let ‘em have it: Use technical jargon whenever possible, and whatever you do, don’t clarify your point with useless graphics and charts.
The more confused the reader is, the more likely they will realize that they need your product. Always remember the mnemonic KISS: Keeping It Simple is Stupid.
6. Be All Over the Map
Some people waste time trying to make sure they have a consistent voice and messaging. Yawn! Who has time for that? Write what you want when you want.
Take your cue from politicians. They flip-flop all the time and their position on any topic depends on who they’re talking to at the moment. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for you.
7. Stick to One Channel
Why do you need to be everywhere? If the user wants to find you, they can check your favorite marketing channel. What’s the point of writing a blog post, then posting a summary on Twitter and Facebook?
Some people feel the need to be omnipresent, but who has time for that? Stick to what you like and let the customer find you.
I am confident that if you follow these simple tips you will absolutely fail in your content marketing efforts. Give them a try and see how you do. If you do manage to succeed while while following my advice, then you must be doing something wrong, so don’t come complaining to me in the comments. I’ll just delete it anyway.